


Mermaids and Swans

by Umeko



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, First Meetings, Killer Swans, Mermaids, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 04:11:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13263411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Umeko/pseuds/Umeko
Summary: A parody of the killer swan trope. For a twist, here is the first meeting of Earwen and Arafinwe as told from a swan’s eye view.





	Mermaids and Swans

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Alystraea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alystraea/gifts).



> A gift to Alystraea for her beautiful artwork in Visions of Arda Vol II: Visit to Alqualonde.

Okay, I never meant things to turn out that way, seriously. No matter what my missus says.

It was a lovely mingling. My darling and I were taking the wee ones on their first swim in the bay after a very tiring hatching. The missus and the kiddies went ahead while I had a very spirited discussion with a trespassing dog. If some dimwit elf is going to allow his pet to sniff about my family's nest, I am sure they can afford to bury what is left of it.

So I there I was, having a rotten time of it.

I was expecting four babies but two of the eggs turned out to be dead. Strangely, my wife was acting more upbeat about the whole situation than I was.

“We have two beautiful cygnets,” she said. “And I refuse to allow losing two eggs spoil our first swim as a family.” Well, she spent about as much time as I did brooding and guarding the nest. I am sure she was just putting on a brave front for me and the little ones. I still blame that mutt for ruining the hatching.

After sorting out that mutt, I went off to the quay to join my family and who did I see but some snooty, over-dressed noble elf watching my family. You could tell he was noble with all that fancy embroidery on his clothes. I thought he was a she-elf at first. Nice golden hair. I wondered if I could just nab a couple of strands for my nest. It might just cheer my wife up a bit.

He was just standing there, staring at the water like some simpleton. I wondered if he was looking at the mermaid or my family. _Definitely my family._ I mean, elf-mermaids are a dime a dozen along this coast. Even if she’s a princess. What’s there to gawp at?

Hoi! What designs do you have on my wife and cygnets, buster? No self-respecting swan will let that pass. So I did what any cob worth his salt would do and shoved him into the water, right in front of the mermaid. 

My wife took it into her head I was getting the rude elf introduced to the mermaid. You know pens get funny notions like romance and stuff at times. For we knew, he fell for the mermaid before I could start beating him up with my wings. Didn't want to spoil her idea of a romantic meeting by giving the rude elf a major concussion and drowning him. Well, my wife seemed to be quite happy with the outcome so I left off those golden tresses. 

The upside of it was that the elf and the mermaid took off elsewhere and left my family alone. Made a note to really scalp that golden-haired elf the next time he is anywhere near my family. The next thing we hear from the gulls was that that pesky elf I had shoved into the bay was courting King Olwe’s only daughter. Well, better his than mine, I say.

And no, I definitely never meant for them to end up together as a mated pair. 

**Author's Note:**

> Cob – adult male swan.  
> Pen – adult female swan. 
> 
> Alqualonde has some nastily over-protective swans. Arafinwe just dodged being sent to Mandos by one.


End file.
